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I just don’t fit in…

Sep 23, 2015 by

I just don’t fit in…

I may be married to a soldier, but I am not an “army wife”… the other army wives most definitely roll their eyes at me because I am so far from perfect at this task I’ve taken on. It’s hard enough most days to just be a WIFE not to mention tacking on the stigma of all the rest. There are a million reasons why I’m not perfect at this job of being a soldier’s wife, but the list grows even longer due to the ways that OTHER SPOUSES make me feel inferior. The way comments are made and insults are handed out are often subtle but none the less there.

 

You see, I’m not an expert at all things army. I wasn’t raised as an army brat as many women who find themselves in this circle are, and I am not involved in things on post.  We don’t have children so I find myself excluded from many events and get togethers, similarly I don’t attend holiday functions advertised to have bouncy houses and visits with the Easter Bunny.  Because of these and many other reasons, I have been made to feel like I am not a good wife to my husband, and he’d be the first to tell you: that is just not true.

 

There’s been a time or two when I’ve felt like I’m letting my husband down… Click To TweetI don’t make cakes in the shape of his team’s insignia for Friday night happy hours like another guy’s wife does. I’m not Betty Crocker, and I barely have time to make dinner for the two of us most nights, so Pinterest-worthy cakes are not in our immediate future. There have most certainly been times when the wives of my husband’s coworkers have looked down on me for my lack of involvement. This used to hurt my feelings in a major way, but as I’ve grown into this role, (and become more comfortable in my marriage) I’ve come to terms with what items we need to make sure are a priority in our family. Post-wide barbecues are not on the list.

Dealing with other spouses when you aren't good at typical army wife roles | www.lovetheeveryday.com

Other reasons why I’m a failure at army-wifedom:

  1. I don’t speak Army: Like at all. Don’t give me any of that Alpha, Bravo, PCS, ACU, FRG alphabet . I will have no idea what you are talking about. I simply don’t have the need or the time to figure it out. When people ask me what my husband does in the army I don’t list his rank and title either, I generally refer to him as a “special forces ninja with mad skills in army stuff” and leave it at that. (I told you the other wives roll their eyes at me). It’s not important to us or our relationship that I’m able to recite army nonsense back to someone. I know what is important and necessary to know. In my defense, the same is true of him in my career: I don’t expect him to know what an IEP, MTSS or 504 plan is.

  2. I don’t play the Army-Wife-Game. That is, I don’t care about ranks and I don’t do FRG. Some may say that this makes me a horrible person however I feel that it is best that I know my skills and my weaknesses…volunteering with the FRG and planning/hosting events is not in my skill set. However, I am perfectly happy to befriend the team sgt’s wife even though her hubby outranks mine because she’s a pretty cool lady.

  3. Uniforms: Although I do admit that my husband looks really-incredibly-hot in all things army issued. I have no idea what those things are called, what piece goes with what, and I get really irritated by all that Velcro in the washing machine sticking all together and what-not. Side note: he gets particularly perturbed when I call them “outfits”… this may be one area that I need to become more informed on.

  4. PCS:
    I don’t know why this becomes a status symbol among army wives. We have never PCSed and apparently that means I am missing a certain badge of honor. I consider us blessed because we love our current duty station, but according to some of the wives I’ve met I am not allowed to participate in this particular pissing contest. Somehow being lucky enough to stay in one spot makes me less of an Army-wife, less strong, less capable than those who have transferred a lot.

  5. Homecoming: I know, I know, I know, I am somehow a social pariah here. I like quiet homecomings at my house, with my crappy welcome home sign that I’ve scrawled in expo marker across the bathroom mirror. I do not like giant army-wide homecomings with elmer’s glued glitter signs demanding kisses from my long-gone husband. I like to hug and kiss and cry in the privacy of my living room and settle back into life.

 

All that being said, I am so incredibly proud of my hot, hunk of a soldier man and I support our troops, their missions and their families 100% of the time with my whole heart. I’m not interested in the politics and the hoopla, I am not a perfect army wife, but I am totally committed to supporting the lifestyle and the career that my husband has chosen and I will not be shamed by others for choosing paths that make our family happy. So, I’ll fly our flag in the front lawn and hug my soldier tightly, I’ll tear up a little when my students sing the star-spangled banner, and I’ll politely decline the FRG bake sale. What about you?

 

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Goals and Plans and Stuff

Sep 22, 2015 by

Goals and Plans and Stuff

The year is almost over. I say almost because I am in the midst of a serious countdown and am relishing crossing days off the calendar… in doing so, I know I’m rushing the year, but I’m also starting to panic that I haven’t gotten all the things on my to do list checked off that I had hoped to check off! The year is winding down and I still have not organized my closets! What’s a girl to do?
2015. 2015 was going to be my year. My year for amazing results.

“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”

During the past 9 months, I had hoped to accomplish big things. I wanted to jump into the year head first and no holds barred. I had really high hopes. I had a clean slate.

“Set a goal so big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person who can.” Click To Tweet
Family Goal Planning www.lovetheeveryday.com

2015 goals and resolutions

Here were a few things on my 2015 Checklist:
Goals towards others:
• Cultivate friendships, be more socially active, make it a priority
• Show more patience, especially to my students
• Learn from others
• Invest in family

Goals for myself:
• Increase fitness levels, or at least make it off the couch more regularly.
• Eat fresh ingredients and make real meals
• Kick off photography business
• Blog regularly
• Finish DIY projects
• Organize my closet
• Learn from mistakes and let go of the past

Goals for my household and family:
• Simplify household bill paying plan
• Brainstorm ways to make a budget work
• Meal prep and organize freezer
• Attend church regularly
• Make dating a priority

 

What are your priorities as we head into the holiday season and close out 2015? Click To Tweet How are you going to accomplish them?

Me? Well I’m going to work on one baby step at a time.

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