Is your husband a gentleman?

May 7, 2015 by

Is your husband a gentleman?

My friend’s husband is a gentleman. One of the things I notice most about him is the way he holds the door for his wife. I have never, ever seen her open the car door for herself. He is always ready to help her in, take her bags and get the door for her. He opens it both when she gets in, and also when she gets out. It is one of the ways in which he shows his wife that he loves her, it’s the way he makes love into a verb and not just a word, he takes care of her in this one simple way and the outside world notices. It’s cute. She loves it….

Even before I knew the word, I knew that chivalry was one of the things I found most appealing in men. As a teenager when I imagined my future husband I knew that he would be someone who treats me like a princess.

All that being said, my husband is not a gentleman.

Is your husband a gentleman? Rules for chivalry

My husband is a slow poke. If I had to wait for him to open my door for me, I would be waiting a very long time. It would drive me nuts, it would lead to arguments, it would lead to slamming doors and probably his or mine, or both of our fingers slammed in said door. I would hate it. I would be impatient and I would not appreciate the gesture. Thus, my husband has never, not ever, opened a car door for me.

Emily Post says that a gentleman is the following things: “FAR more important than any mere dictum of etiquette is the fundamental code of honor, without strict observance of which no man, no matter how “polished,” can be considered a gentleman. The honor of a gentleman demands the inviolability of his word, and the incorruptibility of his principles; he is the descendant of the knight, the crusader; he is the defender of the defenseless, and the champion of justice—or he is not a gentleman.” I suppose she must know what she’s talking about, but if those are the guidelines, I have met very few gentlemen.

My husband does not stand when I walk into a room or pull out my chair for me. The only time he has ever helped me out of my coat is this one time when I got my scarf stuck in the zipper and was choking myself to death and screaming. His table manners are far less than is desired, he wears a ball cap at dinner sometimes and he makes fart noises with his mouth because he thinks it’s funny. (It is funny, a little).

Emily Post might think that my husband is rude, he lacks proper etiquette and is not a gentleman….and I say, let her think that. My husband shows me how he loves me in ways that are far more chivalrous than putting his jacket over a puddle. I can walk around that puddle on my own thank you very much.


Kinght in Shining Armor, Modern Gentleman, Rules for being a gentleman


My modern-day Knight in Shining Armor:

  1. Helps with housework. Emily Post would probably faint dead away if she knew how often my husband folded laundry, did the dishes, planned and cooked meals, or did our grocery shopping. My husband is a true team player and holds more than his fair share of responsibility in making sure our home runs smoothly. This shows me how much he respects me by being conscious of my time and my busy schedule. His willingness to help out with what were traditionally considered women’s chores makes me feel valued and loved and lucky. Of course there are times when his dirty socks sit on the floor, inches from the hamper, but he in turn will carry the heavy hamper to the basement for me every week so it’s a give and take.
  2. Has a softer side. Every so often I catch him in a heartfelt conversation with our dogs, or snuggling with them on the couch. His demonstration of his vulnerability and emotions is just one of the ways I know that he will be an incredible father one day. I can’t wait to see that happen.
  3. Treats his mother well. That’s not to say that he’s always nice to her. He absolutely reverts back to his pre-teen self sometimes and is a little sassy when dealing with her. But, he also gets excited to make phone calls home, makes time to see his parents during busy holidays, and is thoughtful about what gifts he buys for mother’s day. He loves her and respects her and that impresses me.
  4. Is honest. He doesn’t just say things because he is trying to sweep me off my feet or butter me up to get something he wants. He tells me the truth. (I think we established over here that maybe he tells a little too much truth sometimes.) He listens to my dreams and allows me to bounce ideas, he fuels my passions but also brings me back down to earth. He doesn’t hide things and isn’t afraid to say what is on his mind.
  5. Allows me to be silly. He humors me when I want to read aloud to him and takes me out for drinks and doesn’t roll his eyes when I need to skip down the sidewalk. He parties with me on special occasions, on holidays, on Tuesdays, and doesn’t mind when I come home wearing Pink-Go-Go boots. He hugs often and hard. He travels with me, plays with the dogs, and takes me on hikes. He’s willing to play stupid games, tell me jokes and stories and about his dreams. We’re crazy together. It’s all pretty simple, you know. Life is meant to be fun.
  6. Is a true team player. We do life. We do life together. I never have to face a task alone. If it’s something simple like deciding what’s for dinner or something more serious like making plans to travel home to visit family, I know that I do not have to face the problem by myself.


This man may not stand each time I leave the table or bow to me when I return, but he has most certainly swept me off my feet, honors my role as wife, and serves as the best teammate a girl could ever have.

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  1. This is lovely! I am fortunate that my husband opens doors for me, however, more importantly, he makes me laugh. Every day. As you described your modern day Knight in Shining Armour, I think those are much more valuable qualities to have in a partner. If you can’t be silly with the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with, who can you be silly with?!

    • Silly is an understatement….yesterday as we were wrestling dogs in the kitchen, singing along to the radio and making ridiculous faces at each other, we had to pause for a minute to take inventory of our craziness. I just looked at him: “We are so weird!” and that I think is the definition of true love. 😉

  2. I can already tell that I am going to like you! 🙂 I found you because you first found me. 🙂 You make me laugh. I am very new to blogging but I have a lot to say and I believe God has given me a voice…and fingers to type. 🙂 Anyway, thank you for finding my blog and now I have found yours. I love this post and look forward to many more.

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