Slow down and put one foot first…

Feb 3, 2015 by

Slow down and put one foot first…

I do not like deployments. I am not a fan of Murphy, or his law. (For those readers who are not military families, let me just say that Murphy always shows up at precisely the worst moment, immediately following the most horrible day, and always when my husband is a half a world away.) I don’t like going to bed alone at night, and I’m not a fan of the chaos that ensues right before or after a trip. I dislike FaceTime, but love the ability to see my loved ones faces who are always far away…. But this is the life we chose and we choose to love it despite all the crumminess that comes along for the ride.

So, when my husband says that he’s considering getting out of the military I am surprised that I don’t feel an immediate sense of relief. I always expect that angels will sing and soft music will play and all my worries will just melt away…It’s not that this is the first time the conversation has been brought up at our dinner table, and I’m certain it won’t be the last. However, when he turns on his serious voice and starts talking about civilian job opportunities, it always seems more real. There’s a lot of things on the table here: living in the same place permanently, enjoying holidays together as a family, taking planned vacations, and having weekends off…but the thought of the looming unknown makes me nervous. He’s mentioned this idea before and we’ve struggled with the idea that the “grass is always greener”. I’ve never really thought that life without the military was really part of our reality, and the idea that it is, is a little overwhelming.

Our normal is not like your normal, but it’s ours. Click To Tweet

I’m not entirely sure how we would define ourselves if our life moved toward the civilian. I feel like I should be celebrating the idea of a different, more mundane, lifestyle. Instead, I feel apprehensive. Isn’t the economy still in the tank? Where do people with my husband’s skill set even begin looking for jobs? Will he like doing something else or will he find every new career opportunity boring in comparison? Will he still like me if he has to spend consecutive months in a row with me? (Yes, I know he will but still that thought crosses my mind sometimes.)

Obviously everyone gives us the advice to just take it one day at a time. Clearly that will not work when you have to make re-enlistment decisions, but we are trying.

I wish I had answers and a crystal ball, but until then we will just soldier on. Click To Tweet

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