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Hello Again!

Jul 31, 2016 by

Hello Again!

As I’m sure you can see, the summer got away from me and I took some time off from the blog. Mostly because I traveled A LOT! (More on that to come!)  I wanted to appreciate each moment and not be caught behind my computer screen. I was able to spend some time with my grandparents, distract myself from hubby’s deployment and deal with some life changing things going on in our world.

So, this particular post has to be one of the most emotional and wonderful blogs I have EVER written…. because it’s about time we share our happy news with you.   This blog and its followers has become more than just a community of army wives and teachers, it has become an extension of my life. Your love, support, questions, worries, and shared frustrations have lifted my spirits so many times. You’ve supported me during some of the crazy heartbreak along this pathway to motherhood, and so–it is with overwhelming joy and tears streaming down my face that I get to tell you WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!

Love the Everyday: Pregnancy Announcement with pets

I want to close by saying thank you to all of you who have supported us (and me for so so soooo long). We love you guys and are so grateful to share this experience with you. I plan to recap the first trimester in a future blog post, to be able to share with you the ups and downs of pregnancy and all the emotions that go with pregnancy after miscarriage. But at the same time, I hope to remain sensitive to those of you who are still trying, and still waiting on motherhood. My prayers and thoughts are constantly with you, and I hope to be able to celebrate your joy in the very near future.




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Baby Showers are the Absolute Worst | Baby Shower

Mar 25, 2016 by

Baby Showers are the Absolute Worst | Baby Shower

I know I shouldn’t compare apples and oranges, but it’s really hard to restrain when the bellies of all my closest friends are starting to take the shape of the aforementioned fruit, meanwhile we are still over here TTC.


Did you know there’s such a thing as pregnancy envy? How ridiculous. This isn’t a competition, but sometimes we allow ourselves to feel that way.  There is quite literally a constant stream of pregnancies around me, it starts to eat away ,a little, at my resolve to be positive about this whole thing. I know I am not the only woman in the world to be waiting on motherhood. I know I am not alone in this. However sometimes it’s hard to ignore the hurtful comments. It’s hard to ignore the fact that I am quite quickly running out of magnets for the fridge what with all the pastel colored baby announcements I have to hang up to torture myself with.

That being said, I went to a baby shower this weekend. The Mom-to-be is a coworker of mine, whom I adore. I know that she too had some struggles on the path to pregnancy and I am super excited for her. (It should be noted that I would attend 100 torturous baby showers to celebrate her and her pregnancy. ) I also appreciate her shower was on a Sunday, and not on Saturday, thus not ruining the entirety of my weekend… The shower itself was pretty and sweet. It might have been fine even, it I were able to join the ranks of women with children, or had a battle story of my own to share, but instead I found myself surrounded by tales of woe, destruction and horror. Not only was this incredibly depressing, but it also spurred the twinges of jealousy. Things started floating through my mind like: How dare they complain like that? I’d be so happy to have those problems. Although, actually bloated feet and a torn, unrecognizable vagina are not actually on my top ten things to do list…Baby Showers

I’m sure when I do become pregnant I will want to complain too. I’m sure it will be freaking awful and I will be a hot mess.  I know that pregnancy and new motherhood is probably both a difficult experience as well as a blessing, and I also know those gals meant no ill will… but I still left the shower in a state of unease. Feeling both jealous and sad. I hope I will remember in the future when I am actually a mom, that detailing my birth story in excruciating detail will scar the single girls and the childless for life.

I should have known better of course, and been prepared. Everyone knows that attending a baby shower puts you in the midst of a conversation that will inevitably circle around babies and parenting for the better part of two hours. It shouldn’t have surprised me, and the truth is, if I had thought it through a little better I might have even declined the invitation and just sent a gift. If I had thought it through I would have realized that attending a baby shower would be emotional Armageddon. If I had thought it through I would have had a few cocktails first… If I had thought it through I would have remembered that at the heart of the matter,  I hate baby showers anyway.

Like I hate, hate them. I hate that there is no alcohol present (I know we are celebrating a pregnant woman here, but still the rest of us shouldn’t have to endure party games without a beer in hand). (**side note: when I do become pregnant and someone decides to throw me a shower, please remember the non-pregnant are enduring the shower and serve them a cocktail or two.) I hate that there are party games to play at all. I hate that in order to purchase a worthwhile baby gift I have to spend shit tons of money on a gadget that I don’t actually know what it’s used for, or be the asshole that buys baby washcloths and a onesie they will outgrow before they wear.

Next time, I will go for a moment. Hug the soon-to-be-momma fiercely, tell her how genuinely happy for her I am. I will eat cake, I will leave my obligatory gift, and then I will make an excuse involving a gastrointestinal emergency related to my lactose intolerance (believable) and head for the door.

Because I am excited for her. And for my other co-workers, and two of my best friends, and my sister, and my dental hygienist, and the girl down the street, but I don’t want to have to wallow in your ever enlarging shadow while I binge eat cake with pink and blue frosting.

Binge eating pink cake, and other reasons I hate baby showers. #fertility #babies Click To Tweet read more

Baby making and other TMI

Mar 14, 2016 by

Baby making and other TMI

“It will happen if you just relax.” –The Librarian

Hellllloooo entire world! Allow me to, yet again, share too much information about my personal life and baby making practices with the entirety of the internet. Bare with me.


I went to the library. You know, the place where you can check books out, read them and return them. The place that is supposed to be silent. The place where no one is supposed to chastise you in loud, judgmental voices.  I was balancing a precariously tall stack of books about fertility in one arm and digging for my library card with the other.  In this moment I secretly (not-so-secretly) wanted to drop said stack of books on her pointy little head.

If that were the case, hand me a margarita and come screw me poolside baby! I’ll show you relaxed!

But on a serious note, the process of deciding to start a family and the emotional turmoil of not being able to when we want to, is exhausting. It’s heart breaking. It’s hard. Obviously, Madame Librarian, I do not want your advice.

I had already avoided the pitying stares of the women in the children’s book section, which tragically hysterically ironically is located directly next to the child-rearing how-to section, which in turn, houses the tombs on fertility, or my lack thereof.

It tests your patience you know? What with the waiting month after month and the single pink line when you’re hoping for two. Librarians who think they’re know-it-alls can certainly keep their opinions to themselves. And they should…because I’m hormonal and cranky.

It’s not that I don’t already have enough children. Fifty-six, 12 year-olds, in my 7th grade classroom should be enough for any one woman to handle. They fulfill my need to parent. They make me smile and make me crazy, but that doesn’t stop me from checking my calendar and counting days and keeping lists. It doesn’t stop me from tracking temperatures and vitamin schedules and watching my diet. And it also doesn’t stop the twinge of disappointment. It doesn’t waylay the tiniest bit of envy I feel at the pregnancy announcements and baby announcements dotting my fridge and monopolizing my Facebook feed.

There are days when we talk about the reality of starting a family, and we discuss that maybe we aren’t even ready. Maybe we don’t necessarily want to have kids. Maybe we’d be happier without them. Maybe we will just be satisfied being the greatest aunt and uncle ever, but that’s more just us pretending, pretending that we will be okay with it if it isn’t in the cards for us.

It’s the timing part of the whole ordeal that stresses me out the most, and the looming deployment in our future.  Knowing that we have less time than other couples have together makes me jealous, and angry and bitter at the unfairness of it all.Fertility and waiting for God's timing |

It leads me to the little voice in the back of my head that says: you only have two cycles left before he leaves again.

…and the even smaller voice. The quiet and persistent one in the background saying “Will you trust me?

Struggling with relying on and trusting God’s timing has always been a weakness of mine. I wonder if some of the trials of this journey are designed to cause me to lean into him. And so this week, if you’ll help me to pray for patience, pray for me to rely on God’s timing and not my own…. Or bring me margaritas I’d be much obliged.

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Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

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Australian Shepherd puppies are the cutest! | crate training your new puppy

Feb 16, 2015 by

Australian Shepherd puppies are the cutest! | crate training your new puppy | Crate training tips for your new puppyCute is not a strong enough word. Have you seen our new puppy!!!We got Crockett just a few weeks ago and he has already stolen my heart in a million ways. I’m obsessed. He’s pretty smart too, and by smart I mean he knows he’s cute enough to get away with murder.

Australian Shepherd puppies and Australian Shepherd mixes may be the most adorable thing on the planet. I had a few spare moments this morning to play outside in the snow with our little goofy pup and my heart just melted. I don’t know how anyone can be sad when there is a puppy involved.

We’ve been working on crate training and potty training in our house. Which if you know anything about puppies can be a tedious endeavor. Especially when said puppy is so smart he knows that I secretly don’t want him to be in his crate. Also, it is really hard to get the puppy to want to go outside to pee when it is incredibly cold and snowy! (Note: Valentines day puppies are a nice gesture, but a totally impractical time to get a puppy!)

#aussiemom Australian Shepherd Puppy Crate Training |

Crockett playing in the snow.

Training is hard! All I want to do when he’s crying is take him out of his crate and snuggle him. Luckily for me, I have will power… ok, barely, and it breaks my heart, BUT all the experts agree that he is not allowed to come out of that crate when he is making noise. Slowly but surely, he is starting to be calm in his crate and sleeps for more than a few hours a night.

Here’s what we have discovered works for crate training our new puppy:

1. Make that crate smaller. No matter what your heart is telling you, your new puppy really only needs enough room to stand, turn around and lay down. Any bigger than that and he will make one side of his crate his bed, and the other side his potty and that doesn’t work for anyone. Seriously, it comes with a divider for a reason. Use it.

2. Cover it up at night! Making it more den-like will make if feel cozier for your puppy and help to calm him. (This works, I promise!) Crockett is not happy unless he’s properly tucked in at night.

3.  Kong toys. God, I love those things!  And no, this is not a sponsored post. When we are gone during the day, I feel terrible about leaving him crated. So he gets his special Kong while we are gone. If you’ve never seen one, it is a cone-shaped rubber toy that you can fill with treats or peanut butter, the dog then has to spend time figuring out how to get the treats out. They also are making a whole bunch of other fun, puzzle-like toys that require a dog to think and to spend time in order to retrieve the treat from inside. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Especially if you have a pup, like mine, who likes to get into trouble: these toys will keep them occupied!

4.  When you open the door of the crate take him right outside. Like immediately. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. You should carry him too, if you can, so that he doesn’t have time to piddle on the floor on the way outside.  And when he does pee outside celebrate like a crazy person. Praise. Dance. Cheer. Jump around like he has just cured cancer…And smother with cuddles.

5. Don’t give up or give in. Even though there is no sound worse than that of a crying, whining, yelping, yodeling, cajoling, sad, pathetic puppy who wants out of his cage… under no circumstances should you let him in your bed. Trust me.

6. All good things happen in a crate. New toys are first presented there, and meals, and treats, and extra cuddles. Make sure to leave the door open and hide some awesome prizes in the crate for puppy to discover on his own. Keep the crate a positive thing, and a positive experience and eventually, with patience, you and your puppy will love it.


Crate training your new puppy doesn’t have to be the worst experience, but you will definitely have moments that try your patience.  Hang in there because a puppy that loves his crate is so much more manageable!

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This is gonna be good…

Oct 1, 2012 by

This is gonna be good…

I have had some absolutely beautiful moments here so far. I can’t get enough of looking at those mountains in the distance. Everytime, without fail, that I see them my brain says: “Wow”. I hope that still happens months from now.

In other news I had a perfectly relaxing weekend involving dinner with friends, long lazy days, meeting adorable babies, and ordering Chinese take-out. Life is good.

Work this week is shaping up to be pretty hectic, in amongst their efforts to train me, the head of their company, the CEO and founder of College Summit is making a trip to Denver and we have a week packed with meetings, important lunches and business pitches to seek funding from local companies. My supervisors have me busy with trying to show how our curriculum directly impacts students who frequent area businesses and what having more highly educated people in the area would mean to said businesses. Also, I’m the only one in the office who knows how to use the photo and video editing software so I have been making flyers, interactive maps, and video compiliations to further promote the company. I really like this work, and I feel like it is something I could be really good at….but I prefer to be in schools hanging out with the kids.

I’m in a happy place right now, literally and mentally.


Check out the weather forecast for this week: Does it get better?Image

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