Why girlfriends are important…

Apr 27, 2015 by

Why girlfriends are important…

Making friends as an adult is hard. When you’re a child, making friends is the easiest thing in the world, for instance: I can’t remember a time that I ever went to a public pool and wound up swimming alone as a kid. When you’re young all you need is one common link and suddenly: BOOM, you’re friends. I met Christina on a family vacation and we were instant friends because we both had Tweety Bird bathing suits. It was that easy.

I read somewhere recently that you need to treat your friendships like works of art. Invest in them, tend to them, display them, patch them up when they start to fall apart. I don’t know that I have been particularly good at this lately. There are tons of articles and research online indicating that one of the most important things you can do for your health and well-being is to cultivate and maintain excellent friendships. I think as an adult it is not only difficult to make new friends, but it becomes increasingly complex to make time for those we already have.

I’ve noticed that in my life those gals who I am able to make friendship a priority with are those who also make me a priority in theirs, and the one common factor: these are my Christian friends. For the most part, the women who make a focused effort on maintaining friendship are those who also have a strong relationship with Christ.

So what’s the correlation? Jesus led the way in our examples of friendship. The bible tells us time and time again of Jesus selflessly giving of his time, his trust, his heart to those he cared about.

Genuine friendship shows itself in those moments where I am able to pick up the phone and dial a friend whom I haven’t talked to in months, and we are able to pick up right where we left off. I love that these friendships exist not only for what it they get in return but they are real friendship which look at the heart and fill my needs as well. This has been increasingly important to me, given that I live across the country from all of my life-long gal pals.

Having great friends is largely a matter of being a great friend Click To Tweet

Having great friends is largely a matter of being a great friend, something I find myself constantly working on, but those women who are able to do this well, are also those women I am not embarrassed to ask to pray for me. I think there’s a clear pattern here.

Last Thursday I had an extremely a rough day, I had a mile-long to do list and I really didn’t feel like I had time for my monthly girls-night-out, but I found myself sitting in a fondue restaurant anyway,  surrounded by six women from my bible study at church. We chatted and discussed personal goals and successes we’ve had this month, we celebrated a dear friend’s birthday, and we laughed. I had been having a rough week and in those moments around the table I was reminded why these ladies are so important. I was reminded why it is important to make time, even when I don’t feel like I have any to spare. On days when I’m feeling low, or I’ve forgotten why I sparkle, our friends remember: They remind us about our passions, our joys, our successes. They push us to focus on our own values and dreams. They ask us if we’re happy, why we’re sad, and they know when we’re lying. Friends question how we are doing—and really want to know the answer.

Friends question how we are doing—and really want to know the answer. Click To Tweet

I remembered, later that night, that I had prayed for them. These women. I had asked God to send me strong, Christian friends, and he answered my prayers. I had just started a new job last fall, and knew no one. My husband was deploying and I was facing the mountain high anxiety that comes with being left alone in a city where I knew very few people. I had started attending a church, but it was one of those huge mega-churches where you can easily become invisible… I was lonely and scared, and depressed. So I prayed. I prayed that God would send me friends, that he would help me to find my place, and that I could feel at home here. I prayed that he would help me to stay connected to friends from afar too, and that he would lead me on a path toward feeling content. He led me to this group of women in a bible study, these women who don’t judge me, and who pour their hearts into real relationships, these women who know some of my deepest darkest secrets, and who still embody Christ’s love for me. They were answers to prayers, and I had forgotten that.

…one of the ways that I am choosing to invest more into my girlfriends this month is to consistently remember to pray for them. To pray for their well-being, to pray that they continue to be a part of my life, to pray for clarity in my priorities so that I can add them to my to-do list with a grateful heart.

How do you invest in your friendships? invest in friendship

5 Comments

  1. I loved this post! I’m not good at making lasting friendships. I barely do a good enough job with my sisters. But I love the admonition to pray for your friends. I don’t do this and definitely should. Food for thought! Thank you so much for commenting on my blog. I replied there. Following you on G+ now. 🙂

  2. This is such a good read for me because I have a tendency to be a “bridge burner.” I have learned in the past few years that a good way to keep in touch is to spend time with special friends on their birthdays. It’s like an appointment that I want to keep every year. Glad to have found your blog at Faith and Fellowship! Happy Friday!

    • Hi Michele, Thanks for stopping by! I agree it’s difficult to keep in touch when life gets really busy. Making a conscious effort to connect on birthdays is a great idea!

  3. We really do need friends in our lives. Can’t imagine my life without them. 🙂

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